If my head were made of Veal ... how much would it be worth?

2006-08-06T15:38:00.000-07:00

2006-08-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

2006-08-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

2006-08-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

2006-08-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

2006-07-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

2006-07-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

2006-07-26T21:50:00.000-07:00

Moving day.

2006-07-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

www.myspace.com/luckyluckymae

My Pos-eh

2006-06-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

Loose lips sink ships

2006-06-25T22:24:00.000-07:00

Rules to living in a small town

The big auction came and left today, thrilling, down right thrilling.
You know how auctions are. no? you dont?
let me tell you how they are.
They are cut throat every neighbour for himself death become thee.
I have never seen more happy get along neighbours at eachothers throats today over some crazy ladies shit. Really.
There was so much garbage that came and went with no problem but as soon as the big ticket items came out the teeth came out too.
I never really thought of it but an auction IS a competition. how high can you go? do you know when to stop? know when to fold em? know when to walk away? know when to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE???
And in a friendly village such as the shire is we all get along, (for the most part) we go for our coffees and our Ultimate C's ice cream sandwiches (WAY too ultimate for my likeing) and we sit (some of us) side by side at the VLTs in the bars for far too long.If your dog runs away someone is going to bring it back and if you left your hose on someone is going to turn it off. But if you try to out bid pete who bought the kugler house on 6th for the stackable washer dryer set, you are going to be on the recieving end of glares and shunnings for weeks to come. iM serious, it was serious business. If looks could kill the winner of the blue recliner would be dead. We are kind of out siders here still and had no idea how to play the game. No eye contact first of all, as soon as you make eye contact not only have you lost ability to move your hand up at all, you also need a new pair of pants. Whole families on one side of the lawn staring down other revile families who before the bells chimed to begin the auction where lauging about days gone by of shared baths as children and the time Marg forgot her teethe at Stu and Luannes house.
The best thing about small town auctions tho, which you dont get in big city auctions is no matter what you loose out on someone near you in the audiance will shortly come over to you and offer you the same item for cheaper or free if you just come and Haul it away. guess what folks? we're getting an electric garage door. Whooo whooo.
yah from steve and martha over on 2nd, they bought the old Sawchuck house, the one with the red bird houses.

Slip of the tongue

2006-05-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

puppy=happy

The best story ever told

2006-05-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

last night it was so dark. There was no moon and my town has a serious limit of street lights. No light pollution out here to be worried about.
I was biking home from work around 11 in the pitch dark black. It was great. I sped up really really fast and closed my eyes and when I opend them i couldnt even tell because THATS how dark it was.
Now THAT was the best story ever told

Lame

2006-05-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

Whow, whow...
im by myself millions of miles away from anything remotly stimulating and I just realized... i have no idea what I want to do.
Not now, not tomorrow, not in the "future"
no idea.
not even a tiny clue.
I can think of a lot of things I DONT want to do...
I dont want to work on an assembly line
I dont want to sort files
I dont want to do anything coming even close to blood or bodily functions.
I dont want to hang out with hoards of children everyday.
I dont want to be a damn janitor for the rest of my life.
I dont want to be self employed, I cant stand that kind of pressure.
I dont want to video tape peoples dumb ass weddings and then assemble them into "presious memories" for people who are probably going to get divorced in a year anyways.
I dont want to ever ever wait a table again
I dont want to work in a kitchen
I dont want to work with machinery
I dont want to sit at a computer all day
I dont want to work in retail

the list goes on.
These are the things I HAVE done, and found I dont want to do ever again:

Milking cows
Baby sitting (even though Im doing it RIGHT now, NOT forever)
paper route (same as above apllies)
wait tables
work with mentally handicaped teenagers
pump gas
tele-marketing
animal controle (too much sad and scarey)
Secretary work
Janitorial work
House keeper
Cook in a kitchen
Dish washer
PRoduct pacaging
factory assembly line worker (oh the sauce, the nasty ass sauce)
Kennel attendant
Chicken catcher
Transcribor
Nanny

and you know Im sure I have done more jobs in my short working years but I have probably blocked it from memory.

I am SO jelous of people who just KNOW their calling and have no problems following their dreams.
What do i WANT to do? I want to fly to Romania and work in orpahnages holding babies that no one else is there to hold.
... Ill send you a post card.

It NOT about lazy. Its about picky. Its about setting my mind to "not settle" mode and refusing to be like every other person in this town meddling away an existance until they die.

I DO have interestes. IM a humanitarian, and I am social, I like to help and im pretty sure if I could magically become a counslor or somthing a long those lines, no not a useless school counsler, I could be very satisfied with my work. HEre is the catch > I am NOT going to University. I would consider collage but no university for me. There is collage courses for positions that are sort of like entry level counslers, but here is the other catch > I live an hour away from any collage and I SO DAMN TERRIFIED of TIME i cannot bring myself to signing up for a 2 year course when I feel like every day is my last.

saratonin? where are you>?

2006-04-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

im here

Get there, get now.

2006-04-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

2 more days until the big move.
Did I forget to mention I am moving to Saskatchewan on Friday?
WEll thats my style if I did.

really I dont know what else to say... other than you better throw me a wikid going away party withen the next 48 hours... and you better throw me a big welcome party 48 hours past that!
See ya'll in Saskatchewan!!!

chucknorrisfacts.com

2006-04-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

if at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

HI TREVOR

2006-04-08T12:17:00.001-07:00

this is me "waving at you"
im glad you said hi, gives me a reason to use this picture.
i couldnt think of anyother, other than it absolutly takes my breath away, im serious... look at that sucker,
gasp

A pen that doesnt write still has ink.

2006-04-08T12:17:00.000-07:00

So its been a really long time. I realize this and will now take the next 4 hours to make up for it. I have a lot of thoughts that I really do believe people might be interested in... but I also do not have a way of tranfering those thoughts as they happen to my blog... which usually means by the time I am ready to blog the thought is gone.
so its bloggy time. watch out ma and pa and get yer spectilcles on because this is going to be long.

hawk-sley

2006-04-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

You know
I have put off writing this entry on Hawksley for 8 days now.
You want to know why?

>speechless<

Its not even a question of whether or not the show was good.
Infact when people ask me I often just star, mouth ajar, not knowing how to put into words the wonder that was hawksley.
Even DURING the show I was the same warbling idiot. I dont think I even clapped...
I just watched... a tear or two perhaps at times.
I am pretty critical, hell im a walking Robert Ebert
but this musician had me from Paper shoes one idle saskatchewan afternoon, sun beating down as I drove my car in no direction in particular and when I heard this song I stopped, the way I do to listen to trains at night, and I listend and I said
Damn.
And ever since then I have been pretty hooked (cole calls it obsessed and she might be on to somthing)
It was astonighing, im not kidding
it was not only a musical wonder it was hilarious.
I could have listend to the man talk for hours.
He was funny and classy and (not drunk at all) and he has the most adorable accent that I cant quite put my finger on but its somewhere inbetween stuck up man from england who has lived in the eastern provinces for 17 years and the voice jonny depp used as the pirate in the pirates of the carribean movie.
Sexy though, people SEX-Y.
incredibly... you get that point.
What a strange man though. Under his grey suit was a vibrant green striped job that we were able to see during the SEXIEST randition of Tarantulove that would be LEGAL (nipple rubbing included) (i have to get off the sexy train for the sake of the male readers, but hell if I was a guy I would be gay for him)
and ontop of his bald head (BALD???) a fedora covering a red bandana.
You havent seen live music until you have seen Hawksley Workman, with talking in all the right places and the way he switches suddenly from one of his hits into someone elses hit.... "They shot a movie once... in my home town"
Great.
he did it all. He played guitar, banjo, harmonica, glocinspeil and whistled like a king.
So it is settled, it was aw-inspiring to say the least.
Oh to be inside that brain for mere moments, the things I could learn.
So thats it , now I need to wipe the drool off my keyboard, contain my wild teenage admiration (i have decided to keep some things from my teenage years, and my obsessive admiration is one of those things) and get on with my life. Although know I am tempted to quit my job, but an orange van and spend the rest of my days following him from show to show, squeegying windows in the streets to buy my tickets... that wont get old. Will it?
Anyways, enough enough, this is not like me, im so imbarased
sam> lets never mention this ok?
ok

Jack ass #$#$@#$#%&$&%$&#

2006-04-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

There once was a kid from ontario
who made my life real scario
and now I see him in his car
every day as I travel to work afar
and I scream obsenities as loud as I can Bare-io

Sad Part One

2006-04-08T11:17:00.000-07:00

After 4 years of having the same (amazing wonderful, stupdendous, incredible, angelic) counslor off and on.
well folks. Its over.
What a strange world we live in.
I dont do goodbyes well she said
so I left. I mean.
I am strong.
like... ox...
like.. like... lip quiver...
bawling.
What a rough day that was.
If you have never had the same ((amazing wonderful, stupdendous, incredible, angelic) counslor for that long you might not undestand, but its so strange to share every ounce of your life with someone, so personally and then walk away for ever and not be allowed to see them again.
Sally sad.
its like mourning the death of a loved one.
I shall buy a lilac tree and I will name this lilac tree Marigold.
no not after anyone, but merigold is a nice name.... just for fun
and this tree will be my ontario tree of all the things and people I love.

Now, unto REALLY mourning the death of a loved one

Sad part two

2006-04-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet Jessie, I know a lot of people said she was funny looking, and a lot of people commented on her lack of brains but you know a lot of people also commented on her gentle nature and her totally happy out look on everything biscuit related.
She ran fast, but neigh, not fast enough.
My poor dog was hit by a car 2 weeks ago and while it is ironic she only escaped the yard twice in her life, she got hit both times.... it is not only ironic but incredibly sad. The first time the van was dented but she ok, this time it was the other way around. It was dark, its was raining, she was blind in the eye of uncomming traffic.
So here it is my ode to jessie.

Jessie was born into the raceing world in 1998. She lived with hundreds of other puppies and managed to live through the first puppy cull the racing world does at age 5 months. The best are taken and the rest are gassed. She raced for over a year in the state of New England before she was retired at the ancient age of 3. She was purchased from the hands of the Gas Man by a loving couple who rescues these doomed dogs and brouhgt to ontario where they tried to un-do the years of kennel wounds and of teeth truly rotten thanks to a life time of ground beef and sawdust dinners. She was social and sweet as anything when I met her. I took my Dog Jake to pick her out of about 30 other Grey hounds. She was a slow learner, had never seen grass.... or mirrors... or glass.... or well anything that wasnt a track and a truck and a cage. She was so wonderful to watch as she experuanced new things... like skunks and stairs. She fit in very well with the routine around her and would spend her weeks in a town called embro with a friend of mine who baby sat her for me while I was at work. There she got aquainted with 2 weiner dogs and a yard full of sand good for digging.
She movd out west on an airplane with me and destroyed one basement apartment (but oh the memories and the fun of restoring the place with 30 minuts till the land lord got there) She then moved back to ontario on an airplane and a year later moved back to Saskatchewan to join us at our house. We built a fence and a dog door into the house and she was set. We walked her everyday and answered non stop questions about such a strange looking animal.
She tried to eat 2 cats in my time of owning her, and one small dog.... not in a visious way... just more of a ... I am pretty sure I am supposed to eat you kind of way...
Her and Jake were inseperable. She would allow him to bath her daily, including the inside of her mouth. And she would allow him to give up his bed if she thought fit. They played so nicly together and if you took him away without her she would practilly chew her leg off to get to him if need be,
She was a good dog.
She was hit around 9 by good friends of my parents, who were not speeding. She died half an hour later in chads arms as he rubbed her head and told her she was a good dog while I ... well you know me, I stayed upstairs doing what ever it is I do when somthing terrible happens... a mixture of cry/panicking. But we all know chad will make the better paramedic in this family.
She was unconsious from the impact thank goodness. Jake was pretty messed up for a few days, but he seems ok now. i havent been able to leave him home alone though for my own sake and he comes to work with me everyday where we find an hour or two to chase ducks and go the dog park.
Its the saddest thing and you dont realize how sad it will be until it happens, but wow they really are a part of the family.
But hey, the denial wears off eventually and then the saddness sets in.
ooo let her honest feet shuffle close to heavens landing.
only the good die young

My space emphasis on the MY

2006-03-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

I have heard a lot lately about these myspace pages and that they are getting people in trouble and they are, well, bad. So I had some spare time today to do a little looking and well if I didnt find the most self centred group of individuals on the planet.. well I dont know what if, cuz I did.
It was hilarious, page after page after album after album of pictures of the proprietor of the page
and here I am looking to the left
and here I am looking a little pouty
and here I am smiling as if I dont know I am taking my own picture with my own out streatched hand
etc
etc
I was looking around the area I live to see if anyone I knew was plastered all over my space like grass hoppers in a grill and sure enough I found my own cousin. I was taken slightly aback by one picture which in all honesty I believe WAS ME but then i remembered this was not MY space, this was HER space.
what a funny funny world we live in.

and here I am looking down, like I am sleeping
and here I am looking mistivious
and here I am looking board and TOTALY submissive
and here I am looking incrdeibly sexy.

Dumb ass say Whaaa?

2006-02-28T11:56:00.000-08:00

I always complain about my doctor. I dont like his demeener, his smirks and for goodness sakes, his damn better then perfect posture.
I tell people I dont like him, and they dont understand, he is a known person in our community and everyone likes him.
I can never put my finger on my disliking, but now I think I have the proof I needed.

I made an appointment for today and (yes after waiting about half an hour just to get it) He doesnt even call my name, he looks at me from the hall, nods his head towards his office and walks away. So I follow.
We make our selves comfortable and he turns to me, raises his eye brows and gives me that impartiont smirk i so love.
Ok, I guess Ill get this started.
"So, I was wonderig if I could get an allergy test done? I have noticed lately I get sever pain when I eat....."
RIIIIIIING.
Oh lovely, the phone, thats weird.
He answers it
Thats EVEN weirder!!
I hear the seceratary tell him some one is calling and wants to know if he wants to take the call.
He does.
Thats EVEN weirder!!!
So they talk, the doc starts complaining about his computer to the man on the phone. I wait. The doctor asks if he can put him on hold. Ok.
The doctor tells me he will be back and leaves the room for seriously, almost 10 minuts, while I await, listening to the beep of the phone on hold. He comes back, continues his call. And im stilllll waiting....
OH ? wats this? He is done his call? Ok good.
So withOUT even TURNING to me he says, 'so what were you talking about?"
as he types away on his computer.
I stumble on about my stomach and my want for an allergy test as sometimes from all different foods my throat feels like its closing off.
He turns to me (finally) and in an accusing and VERY bilitilling way says:
Well, sounds like you are doing your own test. If you eat somthng and it makes you feel bad, dont eat it anymore. What more can an allergy test tell you?"
SO i ask very nicely if I can please just get one done and his answer?
No, you dont need one. Next question?
O-K.
So Now I want to know if I can book my blood work appointment to have my hemoglobin yearly check. He looks at my eye... looks in my mouth and looks at my palms.
"Your hemoglobin is fine. Bright red, your iron is better now. Anything else?"
"Well My Iron levels were TWO this time last year I would really like to have it checked for REAL with REAL blood."
NO.
annnnnnnd back to the computer. So I leave, feeling TOTALLY defeated. YAH! IM HEALTHY because the doctor says I look fine.
What a QUACK
QUACK QUACK QUACK.